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Trumped

Does it seem like it was just yesterday that we were renting out our homes and condos, lamenting purple tickets, being stopped on the street every 10 steps and asked for directions to The Mall, and admiring the new First Lady’s arm tone? Here it comes—the dawn of another election cycle.

You’ve gotta love this one. Where else but America could we have this year’s burgeoning cast of office-vying characters be punctuated by a PR op? Oh, Donald Trump—I doff my cap to you….and just so you know, even your seeking the highest office in the country couldn’t make me watch Celebrity Apprentice. But thanks for playing. You’re fired.

Although skewering The Donald is fun, there’s a larger picture that perhaps lends itself to some scrutiny. With the advent of social media, reality programs and ever present hype comes the manufactured celebrity and a medium that immediately allows just about anyone to broadcast themselves to fame through the internet, the airwaves, etc.; as Trump used, of all things, a Presidential bid to gain himself a ton of attention (as shocking as it is that The Donald would be an attention hoochie, I know). I’m thinking that perhaps, like ‘impersonating a police officer’ is against the law, why isn’t it at the very least a misdemeanor to waste our valuable time with phony, self serving presidential bids—‘impersonating a serious candidate,' crazy rants and personal sniping? Actual credible journalists have taken up pages of valuable print media and hours of broadcast time analyzing, researching and reporting on this. Granted, the public…well…some of the public…is not deluded enough to think he was actually serious, but does it bother anyone out there just a little that so much attention was focused on this?

That being said, I, for one, am disappointed it was more or less a hoax. Imagine what we missed! Hold onto your hanging chads…. The tax dollars that would have been spent on plastic surgery; flocked wallpaper in the Lincoln bedroom; expletive laden State of the Union Addresses; gold plate on the White House columns; Versace fountains; Federal holidays for Fashion Week and Presidential tea-cup dogs, at least one of which would have to be named something like “Schmoopie.” The VP could have been selected by a panel of celebrity judges—competition nationally broadcast, of course, in a 13-part series with challenges that include reupholstering the seats on the House floor and motorcade races. Now THAT’S entertainment. The hair alone would have given late-night comics enough ammunition for a good two terms at the very least.

All kidding aside…if I was kidding…and I’ll leave that to the reader to decide, aside from the fact that I must make the disclaimer that I am a little bitter about his not adopting me and leaving me a little something in his will, this man has done everything from call Obama’s birth certificate into question to manipulate pressrooms for personal advancement. Is this the first time something like that has happened? Well…no. Not by a long-shot. But perhaps we might consider that it’s a little scary that he got away with this with pretty much only some minor lampooning, while hiding under the banner of it being the American way. I reiterate, Donald, you’re fired.