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Confessions of an iPhone idiot

So I finally bit the bullet and bought an iPhone. I’d been waiting for Verizon to come on board before taking the plunge. Well, that’s what I told people, at least.

Truth is, I have a hard time letting go. I was very attached to my dented, scratched-up silver flip phone, an LG something-or-other that was at least two years overdue for an upgrade. My 14-year-old actually referred to it as “a fossil.” Here’s the good news: I practically got my iPhone for free because of the time lapse in upgrading. Sometimes good things do come to those who wait, or, rather, procrastinate.

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Page Evans
Page Evans

But wait, is this iPhone such a good thing? For me, it’s been a bit stressful so far. I know, I know, it’s only been a few days. Everyone keeps saying, “You’ll get the hang of it.”

So far, I can’t initiate a text, only respond to one. When I hit the text icon, my most recent texts show up. And the ringer? So loud it’s disturbing. The first time it went off, I swear I thought my parents’ old rotary phone from the 70s was coming to life in my pocket. Honestly, the thing wasn’t just vibrating, it was shaking. Of course, that was better than when I accidentally put the phone on “silent” and couldn’t understand why I was missing so many calls.

And then there’s the camera. This was supposed to have been my favorite part. For the first two days, it was. I was taking pictures of everything, including the blueberry smoothie I made for breakfast. Profound. I could take pictures and email them, rather than sending them via text, as I did on my flip fossil. Or, if I did send them via text, the transmission time was instant. But yesterday, just two days after purchasing my brand-spanking-new iPhone, I tried taking a picture of Angus. (My children accuse me of doting more on the dog than on them.) Nothing appeared on the screen. So I pressed harder on the camera icon. Still nothing. Could it be operator error? There’s no denying. But when my friend Shannon tried it later that day, even she couldn’t get it to work. And she’s an iPhone expert.

So today I trekked over to the Apple store on Wisconsin Avenue to meet up with one of the very nice--and very patient--geniuses. Handing my 4G (Is that what it’s called?) to him, I explained, “Look what happens. I go to take a picture and it just freezes.” He gingerly took the contraption from me and tried himself. “Hmmm, that is odd.”

How validated I felt, knowing this “genius” couldn’t get my phone to work. The validation lasted for about, uh, a nanosecond. “Have you tried turning it off, then on again?” he asked.

“Um, no. I didn’t think of that,” I said.

“Sometimes you need to shut it down periodically so things can re-boot. Let’s give it a try and see if that helps.”

And what do you know? It did the trick. My iPhone camera was back in action.

But I still feel like an iPhone idiot. Good thing my ten-year-old will be home from school soon, so she can show me how to work it.